Okay okay, so after a number of requests to start blogging again, here I am! This one will have to be short, but just wanted to let everyone (or all of the maybe 5 people who read this!) know that I am back! I love keeping this online "journal". I've missed it for sure. My biggest battle is finding the time (Brooklyn is now walking... or should I say running... all over the place!), so my only "ME" time these days is when she naps (which isn't as nearly as often as it was in the beginning!) or when she's down for the night (like now)... So here's a heads up that my inner most sacred thoughts will be flowing back onto this blog page in the very near future. I am overwhelmed just thinking about all the shit I've dealing with just in the past couple months... maybe, just maybe, getting it all out will help relieve some of that :)

PS: You like my blog "make-over"??? Needed a refresher... clean slate. ((Deep Breath))

My MUSIC!

So my musical journey has led me to some new and exciting places lately. Jon has taken me and my musical talents under his wing and is helping me pave my way in the business. One of the first steps we're taking is deciding which music we want to use to create my demo tape. I've been writing songs since I was 19 years old (when my parents bought me my 1st guitar) and when Jon asked me to give him a recording of one of my songs, I knew that "Only In My Dreams" was the one I wanted to bring to life. Jon sent my song off to a friend who took my acoustic version and transformed it using piano and celo and made my song absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Jon dropped off the CD last Tuesday and as soon as I heard my song coming through the speakers in our living room, tears streamed down my face.

This is a song I've been singing for 7 years. A song that I wrote about my first true love. A song that was written with such passion and meaning. And here it is finally being brought to life, and not only does it sound amazing, it feels amazing. I couldn't sleep that night, and when I finally did fall asleep, I had the best dreams ever... and when I woke up in the morning, I hopped right out of bed with out hitting the snooze button once, and did it with the biggest smile on my face. It felt like... Oh yeah, this is how life is supposed to be.

I finally had the chance to sing my song for Jon last night and his & Angela's reactions were priceless :) I am excited for my future in music. I don't know what the world has in store for me, but I'm looking up, I know I can do this and I know it's where I belong. It feels so good.

I can't wait to share my song with the rest of the world! I don't think that moment is too far away.

Communicating My Needs

So I have noticed lately that the people I always trusted for support haven't quite been there in the ways I expected them to be. So just with that being said, I already have found two things wrong with the situation...

1) Did I communicate my definition of "support" with these people I have felt abandoned by? Nope, never.

• So here it goes, my definition of "support": Support, to me, is giving someone courage or encouragement, even when you may not agree with their actions or point of view.

For example, with mine and Michael's current situation with our home, we have been faced with a lot of stress and have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few months, just trying to decide what the best decision for our family is going to be. It has been made very clear to me that some people who I call friends do not agree with our decision. That doesn't bother me. I'm realizing that what is bothering me is their lack of support in our decision. I guess I just wish that instead of disconnecting from me during this time in my life, I wish and expect them to be here for me now more than ever. And that hasn't happened. Which is where my second problem comes into play.

2) Can I really blame someone for not being there for me when I haven't communicated with them that I need them and their support in the first place? Nope. I had an expectation, and I've learned from experience that when you create expectations with out communicating them, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment, which is exactly what is happening now. I have a strong feeling of disappointment in a particular friendship and I only have my own expectations to blame.

But then I think, isn't that what friends are for? I thought that the best of friends were supposed to just tap into those feelings and just be there, with out doubt, with out question. But again, that's an expectation... and I never felt that expectation was an un-realistic one, but I'm willing to be wrong...

Bridal Shower

Lacey's bridal shower was yesterday, her wedding is in less than a month! I'm so excited. I always thought Lacey would be married w/ kids long before me, but that certainly was not the case. It took her a little while longer to finally find her prince charming, but worth the wait! I finally met Mike (yes, she's marrying a Mike too!) yesterday and I definitely approve :)

I had such a great time visiting w/ Lisa (maid of honor), Colleen (bridesmaid who flew all the way from Georgia!), both of Lacey's sisters Allison and Kristen, and Lacey's mom Betty! I had so much fun, it was a much needed break from all the chaos between work and home. I can't wait for Lacey's big day!

Window of Opportunity

I captured this picture of Brooklyn this morning.